Graceland, Ontario: April 2013

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Holding Grudges is for Idiots

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome to Graceland Ontario, your one stop location for success advice from the greats. Today, we’re going to talk about moving on.

Earlier this morning, I saw the largest military parade to march through Toronto since the Second World War. We’re talking over 1500 servicemen. And, in Canada, that’s not something you see everyday. The reason? Today was the 200^th anniversary of the Battle of York in the War of 1812. American gunboats pulled up into Toronto harbour on the morning of April 27^th, 1813 and pushed British forces back from the coast. Then, men were landed on shore, slowly moving Anglo-Canadian and native troops back to their base at Fort York. When the British commander, Major-General Roger Sheaffe, felt the battle lost, he fought a retreating action that included blowing up the powder magazine of Fort York; the explosion annihilated the fort and injured or killed about 250 people, including the American commander, Brigadier General Zebulon Pike, who were too close.

The Americans burned York a couple days later before returning to the U.S.

But, though the battle was a low point in the city’s history, the parade was one of commemoration of service; not a bandage of past failure, but a recollection of challenges overcome.

And that’s what astonishes me − in talking about this war, from what I’ve seen from both sides, there’s no animosity. There were some brutal consequences for both the Americans and the Canadians in the last major, official conflict between them. But both respect the other now.

To me, it’s the ultimate show of forgiveness and moving on.

The Canadians, the Americans, the British and the natives realize the seriousness of the affair their forefathers were in. But they also know they, more than anything, fought for peace. Sawing into old wounds won’t do anybody any good. Today, there weren’t any “Bash the Americans” parties in Canada (to my knowledge) to get back at the Americans for “wrecking our town” a couple centuries ago. War in general is either a mistake to start with or a last resort. Turning that into any long-term hatred’s a waste of everyone’s time.

Just as the War of 1812 and the Battle of York are ancient history now, so you must recognise are the pains of your past. Sure, some relationships are still sour years after a conflict. But is that smart or just an emotional reaction, not allowing yourself to let go of something that’s long done?

Canada and the U.S. get on pretty well today. But, if we lived based on our past, we’d be vying to blow each other up. And it wouldn’t do either one of us a pound of good. As is it with your life. Unless something’s current, forget it. If a city can forgive being burned down, you can overcome whatever happened to you. It may not be easy, might take time, but in the long term, wouldn’t it be better to say, “here’s commemorating the day I forgave so and so after so many years” rather than “it’s just another day hating whoever”?

You know it is.

Alex H.

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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

There’s Only ONE Thing that Matters

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario, your one stop location for success advice from the greats. Today we’re going to talk about dieing for what you believe in… literally.

As many of you know, today is St. George’s Day, the feast in celebration of the man who’s patron saint of more countries and cities than I’m willing to list (England, Georgia and Malta are on there, though). And though he’s most famous for a debatable story about killing a dragon to save a princess, St. George was a real man.

Now, I’ve done a couple of these saint posts (check them out, if you haven’t already: St. Patrick, St. David) but this fella might be one of the harder ones to find information on. He was supposedly a Greek born in Palestine to nobility who ended up as a tribune (second-in-command of the basic Roman military unit, the legion) for Emperor Diocletion after George’s father, also a military officer, and mother passed away.

Everything was looking like lollipops and bubblebaths for George. But there was a problem − Diocletion issued an edict saying all Christian Roman soldiers were to be arrested.

And George was Christian.

Diocletion didn’t want to get George in trouble so he offered gifts to George in the hopes he’d convert.

He didn’t.

Left with no other options, Diocletion had George tortured and decapitated. But, in recognition of his faith and loyalty, fellow Christians made George a martyr.

Now, I’m not suggesting you go out there, contradict people and get yourself executed (yes, I know it’s not too likely anyways). But, what I am saying is bear in mind George’s strength. He couldn’t be tempted by anything, including the promise of life, to do something he didn’t want to do − leave his religion.

Everybody’s unique in some way. And, especially as we get older, most confident people believe their way’s right, even when they don’t really know enough to state an opinion. And, sometimes worse, they want you to change to their way of thinking.

Now, writing this on a self-development blog might seem a bit crazy but you need to realize you’re all that matters! There’s only one person you have to live with and that’s the guy in the mirror. Everyone else, however painful it may be, can be slap-shotted aside.

Though you should seek to learn and be reasonable with others, and while acknowledging there are things you’re ignorant of (keep cool… we all are of something), you need to know what’s important to you, deep down, and stick with it no matter what. George didn’t want to live life without Christianity and was willing to sacrifice himself for that. There are things just as important to you − maybe your family, your work, your business − and you’ve gotta be that loyal to them.

Just because others tell you it’s wrong doesn’t mean a thing.

It is your life you’re living.

Talk to you later!

Alex H.

If you liked this Graceland Ontario post, you might also like these other updates:

Friday, April 19, 2013

Had a Bad Day? Smell a Rose!

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome to Graceland Ontario, your one stop location for success advice from the greats. Today, we’re going to talk about appreciation.

It’s also my Mum’s birthday, so this one goes out to her.

When, I was young, my Mum and I had very different opinions on certain things. She liked looking at pretty things in shops, I liked buying toys. She liked gardening, I liked watching television. She liked walking for exercise, I liked gluing the rug (no joke).

She’d say, “isn’t that a beautiful flower?” and I’d nod my head before quickly going on to play. I didn’t understand how you could be happy by watching a flower.

But, as years go by, though we still have disagreements once in a while, I’ve come to understand and live by her perspective.

Everything’s beautiful, even in ways we wouldn’t maybe see at first. Everything’s strong, but tender; colourful, sometimes while looking bland; wonderful while coming across as normal.

And, the more I learn about people, that they like to be liked, that they fancy someone who listens and cares about what they say, that they are, in general, inherently good, the more I thank my Mother. You see, she taught me something most people never learn. She taught me how to appreciate good things and, by not much of a stretch, other people.

Now, before you stop reading because this is either sounding way too new age-y for you or just “soft”, wait a sec.

When you appreciate life, others and yourself, you develop true kindness. You honestly enjoy seeing the best in others. Now, I’m not saying you aren’t already like that. But I am saying we’re all a work in progress and that it never hurts to put in a bit more to up your skills. Through appreciation, it becomes hard for us to be put down and hurt for, as Albert Schweitzer said, “Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate”. It helps us become stronger and more likely to go out there and live a full life because we realize at a deep level how good everything is, even the bad. You’ve gotta be part of a world like that. Sitting out is wasting all the beauty and opportunity. When you have that mindset, you realize the bounty open to everyone and, with your deep appreciation of others, it makes it that much easier to persuade and work with other people to fulfill your goals.

I don’t know how you live, but I’m sure you make a similar choice to me in the morning. You decide to have a good day, no matter what, a so-so day, no matter what, or a bad day, no matter what. Chances are, your day will turn out that way simply because you’ll only focus on the information that makes something a “good”, a “so-so” or a “bad” day. You can go, “wow, she’s looking great for eighty” or you can think, “she’s a week away from the grave”. You can breathe deeply and savour the gift of air or you can complain about pollution.

I tell you, whenever I choose the more positive, more appreciative viewpoint, take what my mother taught me and thank God for the smell of roses on a mid-August day, I always, always feel better.

And, from experience, I’ve learnt it’s not just me.

Happy Birthday Mum and talk to you all next week!

Alex H.

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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

This Will Make You Never Waste Time Again

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario, your one stop location for success advice from the greats. Today, we’re going to talk about living in a world of ironies.

As many of you’ve probably heard by now, tragedy struck at the legendary Boston Marathon yesterday, with two explosions leaving three dead and 170 wounded. Out of those who survived, many lost limbs. To enter for Boston you have to keep within strict acceptance times recorded by doing well in another, Boston-certified marathon. For those of you who don’t know, a marathon is roughly 26.2 miles, or 42 kilometres. For a male in my age group, these people would have to be running that distance in roughly three hours to get in.

So, we have some of the best runners in the world, people who’ve already fought through one hell of a race to get into this one, and now they’re in hospital with an amputated leg.

It’s probably easier winning roulette than it is guessing life’s next move. We never know what’s going to happen. People who run Boston are doing something special, something they know other runners will be jealous of. It may not be the nicest marathon in the world, but it is one of the oldest and most popular. And that attracts people to run it as a goal, a summit in their running career.

Yet, yesterday, for some it was the end of their careers in general.

Waking up most mornings gives us the impression that we’ll wake up every morning, that everyday we’ll get a chance at living the perfect day. But one day, you’re not going to wake up. It could be in bed or, as happened at the Boston Marathon this year, surmounting one of your loftiest goals.

Make sure you’re doing what you want to do, that you’re enjoying your life. Pursue the goals that you want to achieve and make sure not to throw time away.

You never know when you’re going to run out of it.

I don’t know about you but, though I send my condolences to the casualties of yesterday’s Boston Marathon, I envy them just a bit. After all, they did something most never will.

They got a chance to die achieving their dream. And that’s a heck of a lot better than never getting a chance at all.

Talk to you next week!

Alex H.

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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Great Leaders are Hated

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome to Graceland Ontario, your one stop location for success advice from the greats. Today we’re going to talk about standing for what you believe in.

Now, as many of you know, Margaret Thatcher, once Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, passed away yesterday. But, though I will not venture to say whether I liked or disliked her political positions (I doubt whether I have the expertise to say anyways), the news of her death’s struck me rather strangely.

Here we have a woman who was the first female prime minister of the U.K. (and, at present, the only), a woman who led her country for eleven and a half years with an iron fist, who stood tall through a war and tough economic times, who brought her nation to the level of respect it had long since enjoyed in world politics. And what did she get for it?

Some respect… but an equal amount of criticism and hate.

Margaret Thatcher was a true leader. She stood up for her ideals, did what she thought was right, took the bananas as they were thrown at her and ultimately was backstabbed by her own party. Even then she earned herself a baronessies and a comfortable place as a national icon. Yet, I’d say little of what she attained has been acknowledged by the people she led with news of her death, at least in comparison to what you’d think given her accomplishments.

Sometimes we need to do what we think is right. Sure not everyone will agree with us. I might not even agree with everything Thatcher did, but I sure do respect her. Anyone who can take that kind of hammering from those you’re trying to help is worthy of all the esteem they can garner.

Now, contrary to the title of this post, great leaders aren’t hated, not always. But you’ve got to be willing to be hated, willing to be like Margaret Thatcher, the “Iron Lady”. Because she got things done and she got them done her way and she lost no dignity doing so. She was the greatest ally and the most revered enemy. When you need to get things done, she’s the one to model.

Because people without the strength to stand by themselves don’t achieve great levels of success. Sometimes you can be liked or you can do what needs to be done. Successful people choose the latter, however painful it may be.

It’s up to you whether you’re capable of that level of excellence.

Alex H.

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Monday, April 8, 2013

Only Leaders Enjoy the Drink of Ice Cold Success

How’s it going Ladies and Gentlemen?

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario, your one stop location for success advice from the greats. Today we’re going to expand on the snow post I made a bit back (before there’s no more snow on the ground) and give you more tips on leadership.

So, remember what I said before in my first snow post (here’s the link, if you haven’t seen it)? That when you walk down the sidewalk there are icy areas, areas where the snows been compounded to its most slippery form because everyone’s been on it, and areas that are still snowy because most people don’t give the extra effort to walk through it. The people who walk through snow are the leaders who give the added exertion and are rewarded with a clean, unique footprint (success, money, love, recognition, etc.). The others are the followers, all looking for an easy way, all not wanting to put in the work, even if it means they have to walk on ice (debt, insecurity, lack of confidence, bad health).

Well, there’s one other thing to add: when you walk down the sidewalk, you notice the snowy and icy areas all the time. It’s not a one time decision to step in the snow, it’s a continual one. You’ve gotta keep pushing yourself to take risks, keep on trying to grow if you want to be a true leader. It’s not a one nod deal.

And here’s the thing, once you’ve passed those snowy patches (the golden areas of opportunity) you have to wait for the next chance (there always is one, even if it’s not what you planned for) or turn around and go back again. But it’s a huge waste of effort walking back every time you want to step in the snow you missed − sometimes it’s not even possible (thinking of walking back up that icy hill to step in that one patch of snow while a hundred crazy kids are charging at you with toboggans? Didn’t think so…) In some cases, you’re scoring a Pyrrhic victory − the cost isn’t worth the gain.

So, pay attention to the snow, those opportunities that come your way. You’re moving past them all the time and sometimes it doesn’t make sense to go back and grab them (if you can − when you want to be class president and you’re 45, you’re in a bit of a jam). Leaders are proactively searching for opportunities, constantly looking for beautiful, fluffy snow to step in. Followers, those guys on the ice, miss them for whatever reason and then have to live wishing they could turn back.

It’s your choice who you want to be.

Talk to you next week!

Alex H.

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Friday, April 5, 2013

Arnold Schwarzenegger: The Six Rules of Success

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Now, I've never posted a video directly onto my blog before so this is a bit of a test. I hope you're as excited as I am!

This is one of my all-time favourite videos - Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Six Rules" speech, taken from his University of Southern California (USC) Commencement speech in 2009.

In it, the Austrian Oak talks about his personal rules to achieving in life. And for a man who was premier bodybuilder in the world, highest-paid actor in Hollywood and Governor of one of the richest states in the Union at different times, his advice might be worth a cent or two.

The rules are:

Trust yourself
Break some rules
Don't be afraid to fail
Ignore the Naysayers
Work like hell
Give something back

I could say more but the Governator can explain as easily as I can... enjoy!

Alex H.

If you liked this update, you might also like these posts:

Graceland, Ontario: The Ides of Success
Graceland, Ontario: Step in the Fresh Snow
Graceland, Ontario: So, When You Say Growth, You Mean Height, Right?
Graceland, Ontario: Move On When It's Time
Graceland, Ontario: Words of Wisdom: Vince King

Monday, April 1, 2013

If They Don't Agree, Laugh At Them

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario, your one stop location to learn the success lessons of the greats. Today, we're going to talk about the importance of keeping a sense of humour.

As most of you know, it's April 1st today – April Fool's Day. And, despite my best intentions to the contrary, I'm going to be nice to you and not attempt to fool you (umm... seriously).

April Fool's Day (celebrated in some countries by people playin “April Fish” on others – sneaking up on them and putting a paper fish on their back) had interesting origins – when January 1st was becoming the new-fangled official day of the New Year (believe it or not, the beginning of April used to be the start of the new year), the adopters of the new tradition would laugh at those who hadn't caught on. There was little doubt that they would eventually – why else laugh at them?

To me, it shows a great lesson – when someone or some group doesn't agree with you, take a good laugh at them. Not the people – they may be as smart or smarter than you – but at what they stand for.

It gives you perspective.

You, see many times we feel like we're the ostrich in the life boat, the only person believing in our idea, scared others will rip us apart and not agree.

But when we take the opposite viewpoint – that we're right and everyone else's view points aren't more than a joke, it give us fortitude to keep pushing on, whatever the obstacle, whatever the opposition.

Laugh a lot and see you next week!

Alex H.

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Saturday, April 27, 2013

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Friday, April 19, 2013

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Monday, April 8, 2013

Friday, April 5, 2013

Monday, April 1, 2013