Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen to Graceland Ontario, your one
stop location for success advice from the greats. My name’s Alex H. and today
we're interviewing Vince King, a self-development video blogger from Los Angeles.
A: How's it going Vince?
So, let's start off with the age old question: when and why did you get into self-development? What was that moment when you went, "there's gotta be better than this and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to find out what it is"?
V: The first time I started actively trying to improve my life was when I was 17 years old. I stumbled upon the self help section in my local library and picked up Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. I thought it looked so cheesy and
ridiculous. But inside he talked about how he transformed his life in a short amount of time and was living life on his own terms, and that got me started on actually figuring out what I wanted my life to be like and what I could do to get there. Looking back I don't think I really applied much of what he taught for at least a couple of years. But something that really got the ball rolling was when I decided that I was going to quit smoking after 5 years of that nonsense. I used something he teaches in that book called "neuro associative conditioning"; that worked incredibly well for me. Then after that it was like, "ok, now what else can I tackle that I didn't think I could before?" And from that point on I was hooked! I realized that I had the power to make decisions and stick to them.
A: How's it going Vince?
So, let's start off with the age old question: when and why did you get into self-development? What was that moment when you went, "there's gotta be better than this and I'm gonna do whatever it takes to find out what it is"?
V: The first time I started actively trying to improve my life was when I was 17 years old. I stumbled upon the self help section in my local library and picked up Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. I thought it looked so cheesy and
ridiculous. But inside he talked about how he transformed his life in a short amount of time and was living life on his own terms, and that got me started on actually figuring out what I wanted my life to be like and what I could do to get there. Looking back I don't think I really applied much of what he taught for at least a couple of years. But something that really got the ball rolling was when I decided that I was going to quit smoking after 5 years of that nonsense. I used something he teaches in that book called "neuro associative conditioning"; that worked incredibly well for me. Then after that it was like, "ok, now what else can I tackle that I didn't think I could before?" And from that point on I was hooked! I realized that I had the power to make decisions and stick to them.
A: Now that’s really impressive! Quitting
smoking! Wow! I’ve read Awaken the Giant
Within, too − fantastic book for those out there who haven’t checked it
out.Alright, what are some of the good things that have happened in your life since then?
V: I'm being the person I want to be and going after exactly what I want out of life. Every area of my life has got better in the past 5 years. My health, relationships, finances, emotions, spirituality, and general contentment with life has improved 100%. Not from reading a bunch of self help books, but from putting work into it and being persistent with my daily habits.
A: You bring up a great point: all the best knowledge in the world won’t do a damn thing if you don’t take action on it. Great stuff.
So, why did you start your video blogs?
V: Mainly for fun. I get a kick out of it and I like when people say they were helped or entertained by one of them. And also for practice for when I do something more high-end like a video program for overcoming social anxiety. But the Youtube videos are more of a stream of consciousness type thing.
A: It’s interesting you’d say that: I’m a huge supporter of the ‘you’ve got to enjoy you’re work to be good at it’ philosophy. I guess in a way you’re living proof of that. Awesome.
V: Mainly for fun. I get a kick out of it and I like when people say they were helped or entertained by one of them. And also for practice for when I do something more high-end like a video program for overcoming social anxiety. But the Youtube videos are more of a stream of consciousness type thing.
A: It’s interesting you’d say that: I’m a huge supporter of the ‘you’ve got to enjoy you’re work to be good at it’ philosophy. I guess in a way you’re living proof of that. Awesome.
Oh, and I’d be glad to post a link to that
video program when it comes out, too.
Next up, self development and success research is a huge field. What areas do you find yourself learning from and teaching the most?
V: Thought field therapy, NLP, hypnosis, and the law of attraction all play a big role.
A: Very good… We're all inspired by somebody. Who are your favourite speakers/ teachers? What people do you look up to? Why?
V: I'm inspired by people like Kevin Trudeau, Eben Pagan, Mark Droscoll, Eric Von Sydow, Owen Cook, and Anthony Robbins. Why? Because they are out there contributing massive amounts of value to people and giving their gift to the world. And that's a great combination if I've ever heard one.
A: Giving value and their gift… important stuff. I find a lot of people miss the whole giving side of things − it’s the path to fulfillment, man.
And, by the way, props to another Eben
Pagan fan! That guy deserves all the recognition he can get.
Moving on, do you feel like you're more
competent in areas that you would've previously avoided? Please explain.
V: Yes! Every area that I could possibly care to think of, especially my health. I used to treat my body like a dumpster and then not understand why I felt so crummy and low energy all the time. Without a doubt my biggest improvement and simultaneously my biggest point of power is my own health and fitness. It affects everything I do. It makes me think clearer, have more energy, get more stuff done, and generally feel more whole as a person. But this is a far cry from the me a short while ago that basically just couldn't care less. And didn't have a clue. I never knew that eating clean and working out would affect so many different areas of my life.
A: I also had a ‘nutrition revolution’ not that long back − it’s powerful! When you’re treating your body badly, it truly does splash over into the rest of you life.
V: Yes! Every area that I could possibly care to think of, especially my health. I used to treat my body like a dumpster and then not understand why I felt so crummy and low energy all the time. Without a doubt my biggest improvement and simultaneously my biggest point of power is my own health and fitness. It affects everything I do. It makes me think clearer, have more energy, get more stuff done, and generally feel more whole as a person. But this is a far cry from the me a short while ago that basically just couldn't care less. And didn't have a clue. I never knew that eating clean and working out would affect so many different areas of my life.
A: I also had a ‘nutrition revolution’ not that long back − it’s powerful! When you’re treating your body badly, it truly does splash over into the rest of you life.
Right, what are your tips for people to build confidence?
V: Tips for building confidence? I’ve got a great one:
When you wake up in the morning, immediately begin imagining yourself going through the day ahead of you. Only this time instead of behaving in a way that communicates a lack of confidence, see yourself walking with a sense of swagger and ease. Hear yourself confidently speaking your mind and the positive ways that people react to your new and improved personality. Watch as you see yourself speaking up in those key meetings and really being a key focal point in the group discussion. And have fun with this. Imagine you’re a kid again and you can create whatever you want from scratch. The way you act. The way you dress. The kinds of things you talk about. See yourself behaving and feeling the ways that you want to behave and feel with intense precision and clarity as if it were a super HD movie being played inside the screen of your mind.
Do this for about 5 minutes and then get on with your day. If you do this for 2 weeks straight you will have planted in your mind a new set of instructions that it can now work on unconsciously finding ways to bring these new ideal behaviors to the surface, and will quietly work on this without you even knowing it in the deep unconscious of your mind. And don't skip even one morning of this exercise for 2 weeks and really get into the imagining of it to give your mind a clear and vivid depiction of yourself behaving in your new ideal way. For extra credit, and even better results do a nighttime session for another 5 minutes right before going to bed. This will ensure you fully saturate you unconscious mind for maximum development.
This technique is extremely powerful not only for changing your self image, but also for things like competitive sports and musical performances; many of the top Olympic athletes use this on a daily basis and is a key tenant of their training regiment because it allows you to, even though your not doing the sport at that moment, still rehearse it in your mind and create more neural pathways in your brain to do that thing even better next time.
A: I’d heard exercises like that mentioned before, Vince, from both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tony Robbins but not this one exactly. I’m gonna give it a try: it sounds cool.
Ok, how about creating a meaningful life?
V: One of the best things you can do is a technique I call the "Birds Eye View" that makes it easy to get a grasp where you're standing in relation to having the most abundant and meaningful life you could possibly create.
Take out a clean sheet of paper and draw a big circle. Now, inside the circle divide it into 5 parts like you're dividing a pie into 5 slices. Then around the circle write "Relationships, Money, Health, Career, and Emotions." Ask yourself, "where am I on a scale of 1 to 10 with my personal relationships?" Ten being absolute perfection, and 1 being total dysfunction.
Now draw the on the pie slice for that category where that number would be. If you decided you're relationships were about a 7 then draw a line about 70% from the middle of that pie slice. Now decide where you are on a scale of 1 to 10 in each of those areas. By the end of this exercise you'll clearly see what parts of you're life are excellent, and what could use some improvement.
Then ask yourself, "which one of these areas am I most dissatisfied with?" If you said money, now ask yourself, "How can I make this better? How can I improve this? How do I really want this area of my life to be? And go on to formulate a plan on how you could get that area to improve by a full number.
This works well because if you focus on taking your finances from 5 to a 6, that's something you can believe in and make happen fast. Conversely if you focus on taking it from a 5 to a 9 that's a lot harder for your brain to compute and believe that it can achieve. Focus on getting to the first level up, and then you will build the confidence to take it to a 9 in no time.
Doing this exercise and looking at it often is great because it keeps you focused on "how can I make this better?" And you'll find that your mind presents you with new and unique solutions to what you previously may have considered a dead end
V: One of the best things you can do is a technique I call the "Birds Eye View" that makes it easy to get a grasp where you're standing in relation to having the most abundant and meaningful life you could possibly create.
Take out a clean sheet of paper and draw a big circle. Now, inside the circle divide it into 5 parts like you're dividing a pie into 5 slices. Then around the circle write "Relationships, Money, Health, Career, and Emotions." Ask yourself, "where am I on a scale of 1 to 10 with my personal relationships?" Ten being absolute perfection, and 1 being total dysfunction.
Now draw the on the pie slice for that category where that number would be. If you decided you're relationships were about a 7 then draw a line about 70% from the middle of that pie slice. Now decide where you are on a scale of 1 to 10 in each of those areas. By the end of this exercise you'll clearly see what parts of you're life are excellent, and what could use some improvement.
Then ask yourself, "which one of these areas am I most dissatisfied with?" If you said money, now ask yourself, "How can I make this better? How can I improve this? How do I really want this area of my life to be? And go on to formulate a plan on how you could get that area to improve by a full number.
This works well because if you focus on taking your finances from 5 to a 6, that's something you can believe in and make happen fast. Conversely if you focus on taking it from a 5 to a 9 that's a lot harder for your brain to compute and believe that it can achieve. Focus on getting to the first level up, and then you will build the confidence to take it to a 9 in no time.
Doing this exercise and looking at it often is great because it keeps you focused on "how can I make this better?" And you'll find that your mind presents you with new and unique solutions to what you previously may have considered a dead end
A: Yet another great exercise I hadn’t
heard about! You do bring up a major point, though: you’ve got to improve, as
you said in your exercise, one number at a time. In general, if you try
anything too drastic, you probably won’t be able to sustain it. Great tip,
Vince.
Alright, one more question… You ready?
What is your definition of success?
V: The best definition of success I've ever heard comes from a guy named Earl Nightingale. He had the very first gold selling self-help record back in the 1950's. He said, "Success… is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal." I like that because it means even if you’re just making small incremental progress towards your ideal life, you're already successful.
V: The best definition of success I've ever heard comes from a guy named Earl Nightingale. He had the very first gold selling self-help record back in the 1950's. He said, "Success… is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal." I like that because it means even if you’re just making small incremental progress towards your ideal life, you're already successful.
A: Thanks very much, Vince, for being on
the show. Where can we hear more stuff from you?
V: You Can Check Out My Blog Here: http://socialanxietytricks.blogspot.com/
You Can Watch My Youtube Videos Here:
https://www.youtube.com/user/steeltoetoyourthroat
And if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or just want some advice on how you can take control and overcome social anxiety without medication or therapy, email me at vince@eliteinnergame.com.
V: You Can Check Out My Blog Here: http://socialanxietytricks.blogspot.com/
You Can Watch My Youtube Videos Here:
https://www.youtube.com/user/steeltoetoyourthroat
And if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or just want some advice on how you can take control and overcome social anxiety without medication or therapy, email me at vince@eliteinnergame.com.
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