Hey Ladies and Gentleman,
Welcome back to Graceland Ontario for another week of finding the success lessons the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll showed and learning how to implement them into your life. This week we’re going to talk about stability.
As you might know if you’re British, from a Commonwealth country or otherwise well-informed, the Queen of England and the British Commonwealth, Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee was earlier this week (in other words, she’s been on the throne for sixty years). Anybody working that long is pretty impressive but considering she’s eighty-six and still going strong, it’s mind blowing.
Anyways, after watching the Jubilee concert on Monday, I watched a couple interviews on BBC from some of the most famous performers (Sir Elton John, Sir Cliff Richard, Sir Paul McCartney) on why they thought the Queen was so special. The message that got me thinking the most was the one from Sir Elton John; he said, essentially, that people love the Queen because in this ever-changing world, she’s constant − she’s stable.
Strangely enough, that made me think of Elvis. Now, in the past I’ve talked about how Elvis was good acting with change. This is true. But, being constant/stable does not require one to not change. The Queen has changed many times in her life; her hair’s gone silver, she stopped riding her horse, Burmese, during the Trooping of the Colour (a military ceremony held every year in honour of the Queen’s official birthday) and members of her family (her father, mother, sister) have passed away. But, despite this change, the Queen still seems the same; she still rarely smiles (but when she does, it’s always a beam), she’s got that funny little wave and she’s always helping people around the world, perpetually busy.
That’s what I mean about being constant. She’s reliable, not predictable in action but predictable in character. We see a situation and think we know how the Queen would react because she’s got a constant set of values. The same is true for Elvis and our belief in how he would react because he tended to act a certain, stable way, whatever change was present in his life.
When we think about Elvis, we think about that strong, humble character who honestly believed he was “just an entertainer”. He changed and faced change through his life (like all of us) through careers (musician to movie-star and back again) and went through marrying, having children and then divorcing (an all too common pattern these days). But, his character remained constant. And being constant in character builds trust; whatever happened, we believe Elvis would react in a responsible manner. We play him for our kids because being trustworthy and consistent means being a good role model (you have to be consistent to be a role model or you won’t be showing a lead to follow). We even take strength in his music because he seems stronger than we are (or his consistency makes him seem stronger). We trust he’d be capable of doing the right thing given any situation, even when we’d doubt ourselves, and we hold onto him like a senior with a cane when we’re in trouble.
So, what’s the benefit of being consistent/stable? People imagine that your life’s stable and they want to hold onto you to stabilize because their life’s wild. The truth is everyone’s life’s wild, even if you’re Elvis or the Queen, but when you’re going through hell you don’t think that − you imagine you’ve got it the worst. So when you’re scared that your existence is going to throw you into the rapids, you listen to someone like Elvis or watch the Queen who seems perfect and ‘normal’. They’d be able to deal with this, you think and you hold onto their image of stability for dear life.
It’s not necessarily being stable that counts, it’s looking stable. If people see a stick jutting out of a tree while they’re sinking in quick sand, they’re going to try to hold onto it. They don’t know that stick’s rotten on the inside. It looks like support so they grab for it.
Now, imagine you’re the stable one, the Elvis or Queen of your business or social circle. Sure, there’ll be the people who are needy and want you to support them all the way but there are others who only want to see someone consistent in their ragtag existence. When that person’s you, they respect you and become your follower. Why? Simply because they trust you’ll remain the same in character, an individual they’ll be able metaphorically hold on to when times get tough. The nice thing about trust is they’ll support you in your ventures and career, too (trust is easily transferred). By being stable, people will think you’re safe to socialize with, to deal with, to confide with. It puts you in a position of power. And a little extra power never hurt anyone. But remember not to abuse that power. Abusing the trust of people who believe in you is not a great idea… with power comes responsibility. I hope you can hold that responsibility for the best.
On a side note, a very happy Diamond Jubilee, your Maj! I trust you reign for many more wonderful years…
Elvis’s Lessons:
As Sir Elton John put it, one of the reasons people love the Queen of England and the British Commonwealth is because she’s consistent/stable. Like Elvis, she has predictable values that we can count on and trust. People’s lives are crazy but they tend to think they’ve got it worse than someone else. When you become the stable one (or put that image across), people latch onto and begin to trust you. With this trust comes a position of power. It’s up to you not to abuse this power but to use it well, to use it to help others, to make others as stable as you’ve become. That’s the true wish of those seeking stable people. A wish you can make reality.
P.S. If you’re interested in seeing the original Sir Elton John video I referenced in this post, you can find it off this BBC article.
P.P.S. Remember to leave a comment or send me an email at alexghilson@gmail.com to add to the conversation.
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