Holding Grudges is for Idiots

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome to Graceland Ontario, your one stop location for success advice from the greats. Today, we’re going to talk about moving on.

Earlier this morning, I saw the largest military parade to march through Toronto since the Second World War. We’re talking over 1500 servicemen. And, in Canada, that’s not something you see everyday. The reason? Today was the 200^th anniversary of the Battle of York in the War of 1812. American gunboats pulled up into Toronto harbour on the morning of April 27^th, 1813 and pushed British forces back from the coast. Then, men were landed on shore, slowly moving Anglo-Canadian and native troops back to their base at Fort York. When the British commander, Major-General Roger Sheaffe, felt the battle lost, he fought a retreating action that included blowing up the powder magazine of Fort York; the explosion annihilated the fort and injured or killed about 250 people, including the American commander, Brigadier General Zebulon Pike, who were too close.

The Americans burned York a couple days later before returning to the U.S.

But, though the battle was a low point in the city’s history, the parade was one of commemoration of service; not a bandage of past failure, but a recollection of challenges overcome.

And that’s what astonishes me − in talking about this war, from what I’ve seen from both sides, there’s no animosity. There were some brutal consequences for both the Americans and the Canadians in the last major, official conflict between them. But both respect the other now.

To me, it’s the ultimate show of forgiveness and moving on.

The Canadians, the Americans, the British and the natives realize the seriousness of the affair their forefathers were in. But they also know they, more than anything, fought for peace. Sawing into old wounds won’t do anybody any good. Today, there weren’t any “Bash the Americans” parties in Canada (to my knowledge) to get back at the Americans for “wrecking our town” a couple centuries ago. War in general is either a mistake to start with or a last resort. Turning that into any long-term hatred’s a waste of everyone’s time.

Just as the War of 1812 and the Battle of York are ancient history now, so you must recognise are the pains of your past. Sure, some relationships are still sour years after a conflict. But is that smart or just an emotional reaction, not allowing yourself to let go of something that’s long done?

Canada and the U.S. get on pretty well today. But, if we lived based on our past, we’d be vying to blow each other up. And it wouldn’t do either one of us a pound of good. As is it with your life. Unless something’s current, forget it. If a city can forgive being burned down, you can overcome whatever happened to you. It may not be easy, might take time, but in the long term, wouldn’t it be better to say, “here’s commemorating the day I forgave so and so after so many years” rather than “it’s just another day hating whoever”?

You know it is.

Alex H.

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Three Tips to Show Gratitude During the Holiday Season

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario!

Here, we link the success lessons of Elvis Presley back to your life. Today we’re going to talk about gratitude and three ways to show it to those you love at this festive time of year.

Elvis Presley was all about gratitude. Sure he had faults − we all do. But lack of thanks was not one of them. The stories of the Cadillacs he gave away to strangers are legendary. And, while in the army, the King paid thousands to refurbish his company's day room. And that's not mentioning the parties...

Gratitude is a way to show others that you are thankful for having them. And you are… aren’t you? I mean, those people are on your team and have helped you get this far. You do want their help in the future don’t you?

Is that a yes I’m hearing?

Ok, gratitude.

God knows why the Holiday season's a great time to be thankful. Perhaps because of all the presents that get circulated to family members these days. Perhaps because everyone’s celebrating the world exists and they’re on it − alive.

Regardless, if you want an excuse to be grateful (or gasp! aren’t usually grateful and, like Dicken’s Scrooge, want to clean up your act), here’s your chance.

So, let’s start with the number one holiday way to be grateful.

Cards

Knew I was going to say that one, didn’t you? Well, so what if it’s predictable. It works. And it’s becoming a lost art. Because of email and Facebook and Twitter, everyone is only interested in cyber "thank you's". Well, sure that’s nice. But it lacks the personality of a hand signed card, sent through the mail with a stamp in the upper right-hand corner. Cards are the easiest way to thank those important people in your life without having your house foreclosed on in the process.

Small Gifts

Notice the ‘small’ on front of that? Sure, Elvis gave away Cadillacs, but he also had a larger gross income than you probably do. I didn’t want to put this in because the holidays are meant to be a spiritual time, even if they're highly commercialized. But, heck, in our society, people do tend to appreciate gifts, especially if it’s something they’ll use. Now, watch what I’m going to say carefully: you don’t have to give out expensive things to make people’s day. I know you should know this, but you might forget it. If everytime you go to your friend’s place they can’t find a pen, give them a pack of pens (or a cup to store pens in). If they read a lot but complain they can’t read in bed, give them a booklight. If you’ve got the means, record them a version of you singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”. I use the free recording program Audacity (Here's a link to their site, if you're interested). Buy a cheap mic and you're set (give me an email at alexghilson@gmail.com if you want to take that on but aren't sure how).

The point is people, the good ones who’ve saved your thumbs the last year or ten, will appreciate the thought out gifts you give them. Even if it wasn’t from American Eagle and cost under $100.

Meeting Up/ Parties

My personal favourite. Now look, this doesn’t have to be hard. You write an email, or pick up a phone or whatever and ask the guy on the other end if they’re available at this place and time and whether they’d like to meet up and chat. They say yes or no. If they say no, you offer a different date. If they say yes, you look both ways and do a happy dance.

Alternatively, you ask a bunch of friends over to your house (or a booked, outside place) at this date and time, the same way you’d ask them if they were by themselves. If they can’t make it, you wish them a Merry Christmas and move on to the next person. If they all can’t make it, you change the date.

When you've got people coming, you buy a cake, some biscuits, vegetables and coffee. If you can get someone to play some Christmas guitar (or other musical instrument), you get them. You can also add a board game if you have one you want to try. Then, you get together and have a ball.

The greatest asset you have is time. You lose all your money, you can earn it back. You get to the end of your life, you’re done. No pleading out of that one. Busy people with meaningful lives realize this. They realize putting your time aside to make them happy is the greatest show of gratitude there is. And they return the favour by giving their time to see you.

 

Elvis’s Lessons:

Gratitude is important, and Elvis Presley showed it magnificently. When people realize how much they’re appreciated in your life, they’ll want to help you again the next time. And I’m sure you won’t complain about that. My top three ways for make people feel the love at this time of year is by giving cards, small presents, or meeting up/ holding a party. Good luck with the results; I can’t wait to hear your success stories!

P.S. If you’d like to hear Elvis singing If Everyday Was Like Christmas, here’s a Youtube video of it.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like these other FR.EE posts:

• Elvis's Olympic Team
• The Respectful Parting
• Elvis and the Photographer
• Here's To Thanksgiving Day
• Life's a Haunted House

It's Time to Decide...

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario after another week and thank you for joining us! Today, we’re going to continue our series on Elvis and the Superheroes that inspired him and how their lessons can impact your success for the better. We’re going to talk about a tough but learnable skill − making decisions.

D’you remember the old 60’s Batman series with Adam West and Burt Ward. Remember how Commissioner Gordon would call up Batman and say something like, “Batman, we’ve got a problem. The Joker’s taken a hostage and we don’t know what to do. Can you help us?”

And do you remember what Batman would say. “I’ll be right over Commissioner.” Not only did he quickly decide to help when a decision was necessary to apprehend the criminal, or save someone’s life, he did it in a way that suggested he was already making decisions about the future. About what he was going to do when he got there. About what Robin was going to do to help him if he got stuck. Batman was constantly being given hard decisions, but he always made them. And he made them fast. And he saved more innocent people (and locked up more crooks) that way than by procrastinating, trying to think up some perfect plan.

I once heard a story about a CEO who said that fast decision making was the key to his success. He’d have a bunch of marbles in one pocket. If he picked an odd number, the answer would be yes. If it was even it would be no (or vice versa). It’s the same as the coin flip. Perhaps it’s not the best way to make decisions, but if you know you’re going to procrastinate for an hour thinking whether you should say yes or no then flip the damned coin!

Like superhero, like Elvis. Elvis was in the army and he was discharged as a sergeant. Now, for those of you who don’t know much about ranks, a sergeant is in charge of a fire team of men, consisting of about four individuals, and leads them in drill and combat. You don’t get that job for being indecisive (and for those of you who aren’t impressed, if you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead others, let alone four others). You can also see Elvis in the recorded rehearsals for Elvis: That’s the Way it Is, talking to his orchestra. And it was an orchestra. There were at least fifteen people in the room and he’s the one calling the shots and changing the arrangements and telling people to get into line. He knew how to make decisions. And when you make decisions, you take charge − of your life, of a group's future, of your success.

Even when you see Elvis performing, sometimes a fan will yell to him on stage and he’ll say “later”. No rudeness. No “f− you” (goddamn rappers). He’d decide that he was starting a song and the fan could wait three minutes for an autograph, or kiss, or whatever. But you know, people didn’t get mad at him for that. He made the best decision he could in the time, he did it quickly and he got things done. And generally people respected that. Sure he messed up once in a while, as we all do, but no one seems to remember and he’s in a better place anyways so no one cares. So if no one’s gonna care if you make a bad decision far off in the future and if you constantly make other good, logical decisions you get things done, why don’t you start making more quick decisions?! But remember: once you’ve made a decision, make sure it sticks. Like Elvis, he didn’t stop a song halfway and say, “I should have talked to that fan” and messed up both the fan and the song. Make a choice, stick to it until its fulfillment, then make another choice. And heck, maybe next time you’ll make a better choice than before, but you’ll certainly get things done.

Elvis’s Lessons:

Be like Batman, be like Elvis, be decisive. When others are procrastinating and wasting time, be the one to call the shots and take charge of the situation to its successful outcome. And if you have to flip a coin to make that quick decision, go for it. But do something and stick with it till its finished and you’ll get things done.

P.S. If you'd like to see a short video of The King singing 'Words' from Elvis: That's the Way it Is, here's a link to Youtube. Notice how a fan tries to steal Elvis's attention at the beginning of the song when the band's ready to play. Elvis makes a quick decision, says, "catch you later" and the band continues to play the song.

P.P.S. I'd love to hear your comments on what I write. Feel free to comment below this post or email me (Alex) at alexghilson@gmail.com to continue the conversation.

Give Back

In 1958, Elvis Presley reaches the peak of his early success. He’s scored a bestselling LP, garnered several number ones in charts all over the world and has starred in several movies, including ‘57’s The Jailhouse Rock, but he is about to hit a metaphorical transport truck; in the years following the Second World War, conscription is present in the U.S. and it is Elvis’s turn to join the army.

So, let’s look at this the way Elvis might have seen it: he has come from nothing to exceedingly successful in several areas of the entertainment industry. He has achieved more than many would think possible… and now he is going to be serving time in the army. The media has always been fast-paced but this is an age when a big record company dropping you could destroy your career. And if Elvis’s fans go onto the next sensation, Elvis is out of a job.

But apparently Elvis doesn’t see it this way; he believes that he is good enough and has good enough fans that after serving in the army they won’t desert him. He doesn’t fight to get off the draft. He feels that it is his duty as a US citizen (of the time) to join up and if all the other men in the country are being called up, why not him?

So, on March 24^th 1958, Elvis is sworn in as a private in the US army and, on the 25^th, has his hair and sideburns shaven off

Elvis is a good soldier, or so his promotions infer. In the two years that Elvis serves, he rises to the rank of sergeant and is discharged honourably at the end of his tour of duty (served mainly in Germany). Elvis is possibly in the best shape of his life at this point (wait… he is scary thin!) and has met his future wife, Priscilla Beaulieu.

Though he has released a couple tracks in the army, now comes the big challenge – will anyone remember him!? Well, it seems that his time in the army hasn’t hurt Elvis much at all (unless you count his now seemingly more-reserved stage behaviour as ‘hurt’).

On 23^rd March 1960, Elvis’s train to Miami, Florida, is well marked by fans and the press. Later, on May 12^th, Elvis performs on the Frank Sinatra show and sparks high ratings. Thanks to his time in the army, men who previously thought he was overly-feminine had no ground to stand on and people who criticized his ‘easy’ lifestyle lacked evidence.

And support from fans? Elvis releases Stuck on You” and “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” (both peaking at number one on the Billboard 100) as well as the movie G.I. Blues which becomes Variety’s second highest grossing film of 1960. Elvis was back, and the world still knew who the King was.

Elvis’s Lessons

Ø When something great happens to you or you are successful, remember Elvis; give back through time, money, energy, participation in some service (it doesn’t have to be the army – charity is a good way of giving back, too) to let others know how much you appreciate their support. And the best bit: the more people you give back to, even if they didn’t care about you before hand, the more people will respect you afterwards.

Ø A little bit of self-confidence and belief in yourself never hurts. When you believe you are the best, you don’t have to worry about going away to give your energy to others for a bit; you will still be capable of remaining the best when you return to your normal work (providing you put the effort in returning to your previous station). But beware. Notice ‘giving your energy to others for a bit”, well it means a bit! Don’t lose your vision or you’ll be in real trouble.

P.S. If you're interested in seeing Elvis in his first comeback, this is a clip of him from his famous Frank Sinatra Show appearance.