He Was Always There

Since it’s Father’s Day, I figured I’d keep in the spirit of things and write about one of my favourite quotes:

”When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”

– Mark Twain

If we all lived perfect lives, we’d like to like ourselves. This means doing the things we want to do and saying the things we want to say. And being right… all the time.

But, clearly, things happen and this isn’t always possible. We want to do something but can only do it given a certain situation, like during the summers or after college.

Still, we like being in charge. And that’s when parents come in.

When you’re young, they tell you what to do − when to eat, what chores to do and what you should be doing for school. But, as you get older, YOU want to be the one making the decisions. Especially in our culture, you feel like you have a right to control the little things you actually CAN control.

And too often you look at your own family and criticize them, saying, “look, they’re such fools! I can live life better without them. Not listening to their advice is a good decision”.

Of course, is it? Sometimes. There are things they don’t know. If you’re from a blue collar family who’s trying to get you a white collar education, starting a business or going into theatre’s probably going to be looked down upon. Does it mean it’s wrong? No. Just, given your family’s experience and belief system, it’s wrong for them.

But there are things that your parents, Dad’s included, do know about. How to shave best, for example. Or what plants to stay away from when camping. Or even, once in a while, how to have a fun date with that girl you met on St. Patrick’s Day.

Simply because others have different viewpoints to us doesn’t mean they’re ignoramuses. Oftentimes there’s plenty we can learn from them. They just don’t know everything. And guess what? No one does.

In this age of broken families and divorces, I’m glad I still have my Dad and my parent’s marriage has endured. Whether your situation is the same or different, give your parents some slack, whatever your age.

After all, you owe them BIG TIME because, without them, there wouldn’t be a YOU!

Happy Father’s Day, guys!

Alex H.

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How Mothers and Bodybuilding are Alike

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario, your one stop location for success advice from the greats. Today, in light of Mother’s day a couple days back, we’re going to talk about being thankful for getting to where we are today. And I think some of you might be surprised by what I say.

What’s your earliest childhood memory of your mother? If you’re like me, you probably have a couple. I couldn’t tell you for sure which one was first, but I think it’d be of my Mum driving me while I was in the back of her car, playing with me while I watched TV or at Christmas dinner. I remember as a kid always wanting to impress my Mother because I loved her so much. Sometimes, I felt like I fell short.

But, as you grow older, sometimes it’s easy to get the whole “grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side” mindset, in everything. Now, I’m not saying settling’s good, but all of a sudden you feel like you aren’t enough and others are better. And, many times, mothers become embarrassments you’d rather not show your friends.

Now, first off, I’d like to say after dealing with Mother’s other than mine, I’d take my Mum any day over them. They may seem cooler at first, but you tend to find they make all the “mistakes” your Mum makes while tending not to love you as much.

Whatever your relationship with your Mother, it’s important to realize how much you owe them. Without her, you typically wouldn’t have been born (quite literally) and you certainly would’ve grown up to be a different person. You are indebted to her for the way you are today.

But I hear some of you saying, “my Mother was terrible and I hate her and she made my life a mess”. To that I say, even if she contributed to making your life less than it could’ve been, she’s done something great for you. Instead of directly teaching you how to behave, she’s given you a challenge to overcome. And if you’re here, you’ve probably either overcome or are attempting to overcome it. Like the pain it takes in a gym to forge beautiful muscles, she’s given you a barbell to lift up.

And when you make it, you’ll have taken your life to a whole new level.

So, whatever your current situation or relationship with your mother, be thankful. Challenges are learning opportunities. The person who gave you them, or taught you to deal with them, is the person who helped shape your character most.

As Abraham Lincoln said, “All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother”

So do you.

Alex H.

If you like this post, you might also like these other Graceland Ontario updates:

• Being Thankful for Surviving a Plague of Flying Crocodiles
• Graceland, Ontario: The Only Disability
• Graceland, Ontario: Had a Bad Day? Smell a Rose!
• Graceland, Ontario: Have a Job You Love (or "Don't Do a 'Normal Job'")
• Graceland, Ontario: The Elvisian Diamond Jubilee Special

He Who Does Not Sympathize, Loses...

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario where, per usual, we will be looking at the success lessons taught by the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll and see how we can use them to revitalize your life! Today, we will be talking about the benefits of sympathy when you give it and the anger it’ll bring you if you don’t.

If you’re a news bug, you may have read about the ongoing tuition riots taking place in Montreal, one of the biggest cities in my country of Canada. Since at least February, there’s been students protesting about the province’s idea to increase tuition 75% for Quebec (that’s a Canadian province, all you out of country-ers) students.

First off, I’m glad I don’t live near Montreal… it seems to have gotten pretty nasty. Secondly, I’m not going to support or condemn the riots… my opinion isn’t the point of this article (though, if you’d like to discuss it with me in the comments section below or by email at alexghilson@gmail.com, I’d be glad to).

What we are going to talk about is an event these riots spurred in a history class while I was present…

The teacher, one of those fellas (he’s a good chap) who likes tying past issues to present ones, asked the class what they thought about the riots. Some had heard, others hadn’t. He showed a news report discussing the event and one of the issues that came up (what condemners of the protest are using for fuel) is Quebec has one of the lowest tuition costs in Canada. In fact, my province (and the kids’s province) of Ontario presently has one of the highest tuition costs.

This was a Grade 12 class. In Canada, that’s your final year of high school, the one before university (if you’re heading there). So, the rise of Quebec’s tuition costs and the riots surrounding them didn’t make that class too understanding. It actually made some mad.

“Why are they complaining when we’ve got it so much worse!?”

“They just need to stop being lazy and get a job!!!”

“It’s just an excuse to wreck havoc… and it makes university students look bad!”

After the riot bashing, the teacher brought a question to the class−

“How would you like it if someone hiked your tuition and said those things to you?”

You can imagine the change of tune.

“But we’re different! We spend more already!”

“I’d get in even more debt.”

Now, as I said before, I’m not supporting or condemn anything. But what I am saying is a lot of people do condemn, often without thinking about the impact of their comments. Does that mean you should agree with the riots? Hell no. But every time you make a public opinion regarding a hot issue, like riots, rights or abortion, you have to expect you’re going to tick somebody off.

“But others condemn? Why shouldn’t I? I don’t care who I tick off!”

Well you should. You are your own advertiser, your best advertiser. Everything you say that’s good gets people wanting you and leading you to success, everything that’s bad will tick people off. And when you tick somebody off, they don’t want to be you customer.

Now, imagine that class had been a company producing university books. Imagine any one of the people in that class had been recorded, legally or not, publicly or not, making one of those condemning comments and those students in Quebec heard. That’s right − that company would be filing for bankruptcy before they could compose an apology.

Turning to our friend the king, Elvis was asked by a reporter in the pre-interview before his Madison Square Garden show in 1972, “You were in the Army and were drafted. What is your opinion of war protesters? And would you today refuse to be drafted?”

What did the king reply? − “Honey, I’d just soon to keep my own personal opinions about that to myself… Cause I’m just an entertainer and I’d rather not say.”

Whether it was because of his manager, Colonel Tom Parker, or simply his own discretion, Elvis took a really great opportunity to make a lot of people mad at him and shut it down. If he’d disagreed and condemned war protesters, he would have kept all his fans from the 50’s who were grown up and conservative at the time but he would have lost all his young fans. If he’d done the opposite, he would have lost his 50’s fan base (his customer base) and would have impressed the young kids.

It’s not that you shouldn’t have an opinion but you’ve got to watch it − the kids in that history class would have offended themselves if they’d later gone to a university with hiking tuition that they wanted to protest.

After all, as one of them said, “They just need to stop being lazy and get a job!!!”

Meanwhile, they’d have alienated everyone (customers included) who took the brunt of their harsh words. Remember: everyone’s a customer, and everyone’s a lead. You need to be comfortable with yourself and your opinions but if it’s not going to do any good spurting it out then don’t − you might save yourself a lot of grief.

Elvis’s Lessons:

It’s not wrong to have opinions and to feel strongly about certain things but you’ve got to watch what you say and, especially, who you condemn. Everyone’s a customer and everyone’s a lead and every time you take the bait to insult somebody, you may well be shooting your success in the foot. If you can hold onto it and scream it into a pillow, it might be an idea − that way you won’t be hurting somebody, and yourself, unintentionally. Remember the high school students: they were going to be university students possibly facing their own tuition hikes. If they stay true to what they said, they’d be insulting themselves and their own hope of change. If it hurt them, it would have hurt somebody else. The only thing to wonder is who would hurt the other more…

P.S. If you're interested in seeing Elvis talking at that pre-Madison Square Garden show press interview, here's a link to a Youtube video of him speaking.

P.P.S. Remember to leave a comment below this post or email me at alexghilson@gmail.com to discuss this post.