Getting Others to Believe in You (the Elvis Way)

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen and thanks for tuning into Graceland Ontario. This week’s update regards being taken seriously (and you already know how important that is for your career and life). We’re going to talk about assertiveness.

Now, don’t get scared on me because of the big word. Primarily, we’re talking about how you say things. Namely, how confidently you say things. Do you remember when you were a kid and you liked the pop songs that came out? And some of those songs had ‘sexy’ lyrics that sounded good on the radio but when you read them aloud, you always felt embarrassed. You know, words like ‘baby’ (the type over three years old) or lines like ‘I love you’. There was something about them that, for whatever reason, when you went to say them, your tone changed and you never sounded as convincing as the people singing on the radio. You felt awkward saying them, you weren’t assertive, and this made you less convincing.

So, it boils down to whether you’re convincing or not. I mean, if you’re doing a presentation and you have ‘baby’ syndrome − you feel awkward saying what you’re saying − then it kills the passion you’re speaking with. It kills your assertiveness. And people won’t believe you, not really. And man, that sucks when you’re trying to sell a vacuum cleaner.

The same problem comes up anytime when you’re presenting or performing. Take dancing. A lot of people get awkward when others ask them to dance. Even if they’re really good, they tend only to waddle side to side. They do this because they don’t want to embarrass themselves by pulling an all out Fred Astaire and really going for it. But, ironically, by not being assertive and not going for it, they make themselves look like a real idiot.

The key is to know what to do and when do it. Really do it, like your life depends on it. And when you go with that passion and let all the stops out, people will believe in what you’re doing. They’ll believe because you believe. And once you’ve convinced yourself, you become much more assertive and it becomes much easier to persuade others that you’re right, or good, or whatever.

Take Elvis as an example; Elvis is renowned for both dancing and, especially, singing. Take a look at anytime when he did either, even when he’s messing about with the boys in the rehearsals for That’s the Way it Is. He gives it his all. You believe he’s a good singer because he sings with all his heart. You believe he’s a good dancer because he dances with all his soul. And, man, you can’t look bad when you’re putting all your power behind what you’re doing.

Now, compare this with a high school kid (it could have been anyone) who might look great, sing great, dance great in rehearsal, but stick him in front of people and what happens? He flunks. Why? He didn’t believe in what he was doing. He felt wrong for some reason and had ‘baby’ syndrome. That made him awkward and unassertive and people didn’t appreciate his act.

In short: when you’re doing something right, with assertiveness, people think it’s good or right. If you still do something right but without assertiveness, people aren’t sure whether it’s good or right and it doesn’t work out as well.

Elvis’s Lessons:

Of course, know your stuff but make sure you present/perform it with assertiveness. What is assertiveness? Believing in what you’re doing and showing to others you believe in what you’re doing. Once you believe and give it your all (when you become assertive), it becomes much easier to come off well and persuade others that you’re right when even you didn’t believe you were. And, seriously, you want others to think you’re right!

P.S. I'd be glad to hear your feedback on my writing and the topics I cover, either through the comment box below or through my email at alexghilson@gmail.com It's OK, I won't bite.

P.P.S. If you'd like to see assertiveness in action, here's a Youtube clip of Elvis singing "I Was the One" from the Elvis: That's the Way it Is. Notice the conviction and assertiveness Elvis puts into the song even though he's forgetting the words (and notice how people love it all the same).

"Image Scrimmage"

Hey Guys,

Have you ever been told that you have great hair? That your eyes are bright and beautiful? That you’re so tall or so small? Well, all these things contribute to one thing about you, and no, I’m not talking about self-esteem. I’m talking about image.

“Image scrimmage… why should I care about that?”

Because it’s what makes you unique. And people remember others who are unique or original. People who look normal will be treated like normal people − they’ll be ignored. Someone who’s different, on the other hand, stands a good chance of being remembered. Being remembered by new acquaintances, being remembered by new business opportunities, being remembered when they get read about in the press.

So, let’s go back to our pal Elvis Presley. He really had an image, and knew who to swing it. Let’s examine parts of this image, shall we…

Sideburns

Sideburns were not very popular in the 50’s. Take a look at ninety percent of the movies coming out Hollywood at the time (minus the Elvis ones) and you’ll notice the leading men, including Humphrey Bogart, Marlon Brando, James Dean and Frank Sinatra, did not sport sideburns. Hollywood’s portrayal of most attractive, modern men did not wear them, as they hadn’t in the 30’s or 40’s, as well. Elvis took a piece of facial hair that was out of fashion and by wearing it made himself unique while taking sideburns to a whole new level of interest. I mean, how many men inspired by Elvis grew sideburns in his example. I did…

Voice

Nobody talks like Elvis, but a lot of people attempt to. Elvis had such a versatile voice, which is probably why he was such a good singer. He could hit those low notes with such power while at the same time belting out the high ones. He could be mumble out an old 50’s ballad or yelp out “Burning Love” and still sound good, still sound like Elvis. And when he talked, he had that unique southern accent; fun loving but conservative − soft but full of expression. With the advent of the Elvis Impersonator (now, commonly, the Elvis Tribute Artist (ETA)), that voice has been heard more times than ever before. But we know one thing; every time we hear that sweet southern accent, it represents one man − Elvis Presley.

Clothes

Elvis had pretty typical suits in his youth. There was the time when he wore a ‘suit with tails’ on the Steve Allen show, or the time he wore the Tupelo Gold suit, but on the whole it was those popular 50’s sack suits. But wait until 1968, and in his comeback special came the birth of the Elvis jumpsuit. It was tight and black and leather, well fitted to the king’s curves and giving him full range of motion while he sang. It was such a hit that the white cloth one replaced it in the early 70’s in films like Elvis: That’s the Way it Is. Later on, they got fancier with more gold and jewels like the jumpsuits seen in Elvis: Aloha from Hawaii and all the way to the end of the King’s career. These outfits were so unique. Nobody used them but Elvis and when people did start taking to them, it was obvious who they copying. The jumpsuit became such a symbol of Elvis that it is still uniquely Elvis’s, even all these years after his death. People still associate it with him. That’s how strong an image can be.

Elvis’s Lessons:

• Get yourself an image! It’s not as hard as it might seem as in many cases it’s only emphasizing what you already have. For me, people notice my brown curly hair, my height, my eyes and my English accent. You can use anything essentially: hat, clothes (as Elvis did), hair, eyes, facial hair (as Elvis also did), a habit (such as running or reading), ANYTHING! But once you have a couple, people will remember you for what you are associated with (the image) as well as what you are, perhaps more so. You’ll become more distinctive than ever before, people will bear you mind and since people tend to be friendlier (or meaner, given the reputation) to people they now of, your success will be influenced by your new, distinctive image.

P.S. If you want to see Elvis sporting his sideburns, voice and jumpsuit, here's a Youtube link to Elvis singing "I'll Remember You" from Elvis: Aloha from Hawaii.

P.P.S. I would love to hear your ideas and memories as well as any feedback you have to my posts. Please make full use of the comment section!