Getting Others to Believe in You (the Elvis Way)

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen and thanks for tuning into Graceland Ontario. This week’s update regards being taken seriously (and you already know how important that is for your career and life). We’re going to talk about assertiveness.

Now, don’t get scared on me because of the big word. Primarily, we’re talking about how you say things. Namely, how confidently you say things. Do you remember when you were a kid and you liked the pop songs that came out? And some of those songs had ‘sexy’ lyrics that sounded good on the radio but when you read them aloud, you always felt embarrassed. You know, words like ‘baby’ (the type over three years old) or lines like ‘I love you’. There was something about them that, for whatever reason, when you went to say them, your tone changed and you never sounded as convincing as the people singing on the radio. You felt awkward saying them, you weren’t assertive, and this made you less convincing.

So, it boils down to whether you’re convincing or not. I mean, if you’re doing a presentation and you have ‘baby’ syndrome − you feel awkward saying what you’re saying − then it kills the passion you’re speaking with. It kills your assertiveness. And people won’t believe you, not really. And man, that sucks when you’re trying to sell a vacuum cleaner.

The same problem comes up anytime when you’re presenting or performing. Take dancing. A lot of people get awkward when others ask them to dance. Even if they’re really good, they tend only to waddle side to side. They do this because they don’t want to embarrass themselves by pulling an all out Fred Astaire and really going for it. But, ironically, by not being assertive and not going for it, they make themselves look like a real idiot.

The key is to know what to do and when do it. Really do it, like your life depends on it. And when you go with that passion and let all the stops out, people will believe in what you’re doing. They’ll believe because you believe. And once you’ve convinced yourself, you become much more assertive and it becomes much easier to persuade others that you’re right, or good, or whatever.

Take Elvis as an example; Elvis is renowned for both dancing and, especially, singing. Take a look at anytime when he did either, even when he’s messing about with the boys in the rehearsals for That’s the Way it Is. He gives it his all. You believe he’s a good singer because he sings with all his heart. You believe he’s a good dancer because he dances with all his soul. And, man, you can’t look bad when you’re putting all your power behind what you’re doing.

Now, compare this with a high school kid (it could have been anyone) who might look great, sing great, dance great in rehearsal, but stick him in front of people and what happens? He flunks. Why? He didn’t believe in what he was doing. He felt wrong for some reason and had ‘baby’ syndrome. That made him awkward and unassertive and people didn’t appreciate his act.

In short: when you’re doing something right, with assertiveness, people think it’s good or right. If you still do something right but without assertiveness, people aren’t sure whether it’s good or right and it doesn’t work out as well.

Elvis’s Lessons:

Of course, know your stuff but make sure you present/perform it with assertiveness. What is assertiveness? Believing in what you’re doing and showing to others you believe in what you’re doing. Once you believe and give it your all (when you become assertive), it becomes much easier to come off well and persuade others that you’re right when even you didn’t believe you were. And, seriously, you want others to think you’re right!

P.S. I'd be glad to hear your feedback on my writing and the topics I cover, either through the comment box below or through my email at alexghilson@gmail.com It's OK, I won't bite.

P.P.S. If you'd like to see assertiveness in action, here's a Youtube clip of Elvis singing "I Was the One" from the Elvis: That's the Way it Is. Notice the conviction and assertiveness Elvis puts into the song even though he's forgetting the words (and notice how people love it all the same).

Strange And Wonderful Things

Hey Guys,

We all have our ups and downs and sometimes we get stuck in the monotony of everyday life. But, we have hope. If there is anything we can learn from Elvis, it is this: strange and wonderful things can happen, even when you least expect them.

Sounds like the kind of thing you’d read in Charles Dickens or J. K. Rowling, huh (hey, what’s wrong with Harry Potter, after all?). Of course, you’re probably thinking right now that there’s a difference between the wishful imaginations of fiction writers and reality.

Well sure, we don’t have magic wands (or evil wizards trying to murder us), nor does life tie up quite as nicely as it does in a novel. But still, amazing stuff can happen − and it does!

Take Elvis: I can’t overestimate the unlikeliness of a poor kid from Mississippi becoming anything notable, let alone one of the greatest, most influential, well-loved individual in popular music.

I mean, so Elvis could sing, and well. He sang his heart out in the after-hours of his truck job. He kept singing. And then POOF!!! Positive things started happening. Like more people starting asking for his autograph. And more people came to his shows. And there were more requests for his records to be played on radio.

It wasn’t an overnight switch from poverty to riches, but it happened.

After all, if it could happen to him, why couldn’t it happen to you?

Now, before I sign off for another week, I’d like to talk about a second, wonderful thing that happened in Elvis’s life. One that didn’t tarnish (like his marriage) and that was uniquely his (unlike Graceland with its 600,000 visitors a year). I’m talking about the ’68 Comeback Special.

Yes, you’ve heard me talk about it before and I will continue to talk about it until I’ve got off my mind how awesome it was (and drummed into yours how awesome it was).

Elvis is in a dip. His movies aren’t selling the way they used to. Generally, the only tracks he records are for movies and they don’t compare to the ones coming out of the British Invasion from bands like the Who, Stones, Beatles or Kinks. I mean, musically Elvis was becoming a has-been. And, especially in the 60’s, that was no title to wear proudly.

So, Elvis decides he wants to do a show. The Colonel, Tom Parker, Elvis’s manager, wants Elvis to sing Christmas carols exclusively. Elvis doesn’t like that idea much and neither does the show’s producer and director, Steve Binder, so they decide that he sing some of his old songs mixed with some new ones.

You’ve got to understand the importance of this. Elvis’s film career looked like it was coming to an end, and soon. What does an out of work rock star do when he doesn’t have a film career or a music career (correct: they write a book). What was Elvis going to do? Go back to his electrician apprenticeship? Start driving a truck?

Elvis was in serious trouble of death by boredom, and he knew it.

But the rest is history. Elvis, out of some marvelous whim of fate, made a full comeback and did some of his most impressive work, including Suspicious Minds, afterwards.

Now, don’t let me give you the idea that it just happened. I’m a serious Ben Obi Wan Kenobi fan, especially when he says, “In my experience there is no such thing as luck. Elvis worked for it and he got it. Does it always work that way? Heck no. But it can. Both in the very beginning and during the Comeback Special, Elvis worked for success. And when you work for success something wonderful and unexpected happens − opportunities present themselves that you didn’t even know existed, the Law of Attraction works in your favour and you make history.

Elvis’s Lessons:

Ø Sometimes, wonderful and unexpected turns of fate happen, often when you don’t expect them. Oftentimes, even the direst situations have their ways of turning around. But you tend to have to work to get out of the rut. Diving into depression won’t help you but being proactive will. Get your own Comeback Special organized and get kicking. It worked for Elvis and if it worked for him, then why not you? And if you seriously do a show, send me an invitation. I’d love to see you rise like a Phoenix.

P.S. If you'd like to see some more Elvis from the life-changing '68 Comeback Special, here's a Youtube clip of him singing "Baby What Do You Want Me to Do" from the 'unplugged' segment of the show.

P.P.S. I've love to hear your feedback and stories. Please leave a comment or email me at alexghilson@gmail.com to continue the conversation.