Getting Others to Believe in You (the Elvis Way)

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen and thanks for tuning into Graceland Ontario. This week’s update regards being taken seriously (and you already know how important that is for your career and life). We’re going to talk about assertiveness.

Now, don’t get scared on me because of the big word. Primarily, we’re talking about how you say things. Namely, how confidently you say things. Do you remember when you were a kid and you liked the pop songs that came out? And some of those songs had ‘sexy’ lyrics that sounded good on the radio but when you read them aloud, you always felt embarrassed. You know, words like ‘baby’ (the type over three years old) or lines like ‘I love you’. There was something about them that, for whatever reason, when you went to say them, your tone changed and you never sounded as convincing as the people singing on the radio. You felt awkward saying them, you weren’t assertive, and this made you less convincing.

So, it boils down to whether you’re convincing or not. I mean, if you’re doing a presentation and you have ‘baby’ syndrome − you feel awkward saying what you’re saying − then it kills the passion you’re speaking with. It kills your assertiveness. And people won’t believe you, not really. And man, that sucks when you’re trying to sell a vacuum cleaner.

The same problem comes up anytime when you’re presenting or performing. Take dancing. A lot of people get awkward when others ask them to dance. Even if they’re really good, they tend only to waddle side to side. They do this because they don’t want to embarrass themselves by pulling an all out Fred Astaire and really going for it. But, ironically, by not being assertive and not going for it, they make themselves look like a real idiot.

The key is to know what to do and when do it. Really do it, like your life depends on it. And when you go with that passion and let all the stops out, people will believe in what you’re doing. They’ll believe because you believe. And once you’ve convinced yourself, you become much more assertive and it becomes much easier to persuade others that you’re right, or good, or whatever.

Take Elvis as an example; Elvis is renowned for both dancing and, especially, singing. Take a look at anytime when he did either, even when he’s messing about with the boys in the rehearsals for That’s the Way it Is. He gives it his all. You believe he’s a good singer because he sings with all his heart. You believe he’s a good dancer because he dances with all his soul. And, man, you can’t look bad when you’re putting all your power behind what you’re doing.

Now, compare this with a high school kid (it could have been anyone) who might look great, sing great, dance great in rehearsal, but stick him in front of people and what happens? He flunks. Why? He didn’t believe in what he was doing. He felt wrong for some reason and had ‘baby’ syndrome. That made him awkward and unassertive and people didn’t appreciate his act.

In short: when you’re doing something right, with assertiveness, people think it’s good or right. If you still do something right but without assertiveness, people aren’t sure whether it’s good or right and it doesn’t work out as well.

Elvis’s Lessons:

Of course, know your stuff but make sure you present/perform it with assertiveness. What is assertiveness? Believing in what you’re doing and showing to others you believe in what you’re doing. Once you believe and give it your all (when you become assertive), it becomes much easier to come off well and persuade others that you’re right when even you didn’t believe you were. And, seriously, you want others to think you’re right!

P.S. I'd be glad to hear your feedback on my writing and the topics I cover, either through the comment box below or through my email at alexghilson@gmail.com It's OK, I won't bite.

P.P.S. If you'd like to see assertiveness in action, here's a Youtube clip of Elvis singing "I Was the One" from the Elvis: That's the Way it Is. Notice the conviction and assertiveness Elvis puts into the song even though he's forgetting the words (and notice how people love it all the same).

Who Wants to Be Called "Fat"?

Thank you success-searchers and Elvis fans for tuning into Graceland Ontario! Today, we’re going to turn to fitness, how it influences your chances of success and how Elvis modeled this.

I got an email only the other day from a woman who she felt “cheated” when she found a guy she’d gone on a date with had been hiding his large stomach under his suit. She proclaimed no out-of-shape guy would have any romantic chance with her. Of course, she was marketing a fitness product.

Now even if I told you (and I am telling you) there are a large number of systems on creating attraction that have nothing to do with your physical shape, the woman does have a point. I mean, being fit in no way ensures attraction, in business or life, but it can be a nice simple way to spark it. And no one’s going to complain about doing things the easy way (when there is an easy way), are they?

Elvis time! When Elvis was young, he was in decent shape. Not a barrel of bones, like James Stewart, but he was fit. He tried out for football in high school and later took up karate (Elvis was a black belt).

And remember, people weren’t just attracted to Elvis’s singing and music; they were attracted to Elvis. They screamed and mobbed him. Sure this had something to do with his awesome persona, but his looks also played their part.

Elvis was thinner during his stint in the army and heavier during his mid-movie career, but he kept in pretty steady shape.

Between 1968 and 1970, Elvis might have looked his best. He was lean and handsome, exceptionally for a man in his 30’s. But going into the late 70’s, he packed on the pounds fast. Really, he wasn’t even that bad compared to some people in their early 40’s, only bad compared to his old self.

Now I won’t once again point out the correlation between Elvis’s declining body and his declining career, but I will mention something else; you ever notice that whenever someone wants to be mean to Elvis, they never say “that punk who messed things up” or “that has-been who dressed up in leather”. These would reference when he was in the 50’s or 60’s, when he was in good shape. No, they say “‘fat Elvis’, the guy who was so heavy he died of a heart attack just getting up from his toilet”. Brutal, eh?

You know what’s even worse? Even though Elvis was in pristine physical shape through most of his life, they always colour over everything else with the ‘fat’ tag, even in the times when he wasn’t. Heck, even when he was in better shape than plenty of others.

It’s not my place to tell you what to do. I can only advise based on what I see, and that’s it − a bunch of narcissistic hypocrites who rip apart others based on looks and then, like the woman I mentioned earlier, sell products about it.

So what do you do? Start exercising. Doesn’t have to be much (I’m a big fan of walking) but do something. And watch your diet. I don’t mean go on a fad diet; I mean eat wholesome foods with nutrients in portions that make sense. And drink lots of water. When I started getting my health act in gear, nothing helped more than plain ol’ tap water.

You can learn from the past, from others who experienced pain first hand. A good body is not the key to success, but it and the discipline it takes fostering one helps. After all, who wants all their achievements tainted with ‘fat’ preceding their name?

Elvis’s Lessons:

• Getting into shape can help your career as well as your overall lifestyle. It doesn’t have to be extreme; a little walking, watching what foods you eat and drinking water can go a long way to shaping you up.

P.S. If you need some positive and negative inspiration, here's a video of Elvis singing "Jailhouse Rock" when he was in his best shape, in 1968, and another when he was in his worst, in 1977. They're useful for comparison.

P.S.S. When I was getting in shape, this free website was a lot of help. It's called Scooby's Workshop, named after its founder. I hope it can help you do the same.