The Respectful Parting: Firing with the Future in Mind

Helloo0O all you wonderful people!

Welcome back Graceland Ontario for your weekly fix of success tips as modeled by the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll himself (and you can’t do much better than him… I mean, check out those cheek bones! But I digress…) This week we’re going to be talking about remembering people on the pathway of life (and success) and how to deal with them when it's 'just not working'.

So, as we tango through life, whether it be school, work, the barber’s shop, we meet people who become associates, business partners and plain, ol’ employees. Then, days, months, years down the line, we realize that the partnership is a bad idea and either it’s outlived its usefulness or was never meant to be to start with. It’s time to ‘fire’ that person from your business life. Now, there are three ways to deal with this: one, ignore it (this would suggest being indecisive, and if you don’t know my opinions on that check out what I write on it. In short − it’s not good); two, break off the relationship casually, stating things aren’t working well and it’d be better for both of you if you did your own things or, three, step on their toes, tell them the hell where to go and screw the relationship up permanently (Donald Trump, anyone...?).

Let’s tie this to our friend, the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll. Elvis met many people through his career. Oftentimes he partnered up with them for long times (the Jordanaires, the TCB (Taking Care of Business) Band) or re-partnered up with them at later dates (Scotty Moore and D.J. Fontana, his original guitarist and drummer, played with Elvis during the ’68 Comeback Special). When the partnership had to end (because of a dispute or someone else was better for the role), it did − no hard feelings. Then, if there was a use for the partnership in the future, it could be re-exploited.

Hopefully you’re getting the point I’m trying to put across − sometimes, partnerships should never have occurred but we, as fallible mortals, don’t know when this is true or not. Even if there’s a clear problem in the present, your ex-partner might be able to help you (and you him) in the future. This makes financial (they can help you make money if you need them), health (you’re not worrying over some psycho ex-partner killing you) and social (you might have a friend even if you don’t have a partner) sense. Asides, who wants to have a long argument over a partnership that’s dead when you can have a short conversation putting both people out of their woe.

Now going back to Elvis, who generally had good relations with his fellow workers − after his death, many of these musicians have said or done something positive in correlation to Elvis. Done a song, a speech, a dedication… the 'Elvis Presley in Concert' shows where former musicians do modern arrangements to recording and movie footage of Elvis live. Now, I’m not saying money had nothing to do with this sponsorship but, from the genuineness in what they say, it seems most of the people who worked with Elvis looked upon him favourably. So favourably that, if he were still alive and required their services, they’d probably accept.

On the other hand, there are other bands with one person becoming ‘the star’ and ditching the rest of the guys. Oftentimes these ‘stars’ release one record, maybe score, maybe not, fall from grace, then go into quiet retirement, living off the royalties from the band they backstabbed. I’m not going to name any people in particular (though I’m sure you can fill in the blanks) but clearly these individuals, by hurting those they worked with, even if they didn’t intend to work with them again, messed themselves over in the long-run. They certainly can’t boast having a legion of individuals who would work with them if they needed (like Elvis), a group of friends they could talk with outside of business or even a safe life (gotta watch out for those psycho ex-partners).

Now, I’m not saying people who shouldn’t work with you must stay or that you should keep in good contact with them if they’re bad news. Simply that you’re nice and respectful to them, even when you can’t work with them anymore. Remember the old adage ‘action speaks louder than words’? Your simple lack of response to their ideas and proposals will give them the idea − you don’t have to shout in their face!

Elvis’s Lessons:

So, what’s the point? Here it is: Do what is best for your career, even if it means parting with somebody, but remember to be respectful during the break-up process. It makes the process less messy, it leaves the option of re-partnership possible and it gives you the opportunity to keep a person in your social life even if they have no part in your financial circle.

P.S. Remember to leave a comment below or email me at alexghilson@gmail.com to discuss this post personally with me.

P.P.S. If you're interested in seeing Elvis singing in the '68 Comeback Special (where he re-partnered up with original guitarist Scotty Moore and drummer D.J. Fontana), here he is with "Heartbreak Hotel".

The Only Guarantee

Hey guys,

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario where, once again, we'll be exploring the success principles demonstrated by Elvis Presley and see how they can be used in your life. Today, we'll be talking about the effects of acting and the effects of not... something I call The Only Guarantee.

I’ve got a question for you: Why do people do exceptional acts? Because it’s monumentous and it boosts their feeling of self-worth. Now, I’ve got another question for you: Why do people not do exceptional acts? Because it’s monumentous and they’re scared it will decrease their feelings of self-worth.

Do you notice the difference between the two questions? The first one, the one about doing monumentous things, talks about action: doing the act makes you feel awesome. The second question talks about an imagined possibility; they’re scared (read: they think) failure will lower their feelings of self-worth.

We’ve talked about Elvis making a fool of himself in the past: he couldn’t finish his first tour in Las Vegas in ’56 because he was going over so badly with the audience. Then, in later life, he put on a lot of weight. Some people would have been so embarrassed about their physical condition they would never want another picture taken.

But not Elvis. You see, he realized that this perceived fear of failing and lowering of self-worth is not a guarantee. He lived through it and we’ve seen the results years after his death. Failing in Las Vegas was not the end of his career. Not only did he continue doing well in the 50’s, later on he became one of Vegas’s great symbols. And people still buy the tracks and posters and memorabilia from his ‘fat’ period. He might have looked upon it as a low period, but to us he’s still Elvis, putting out those tracks the same as usual.

There’s no guarantee that failing will ruin you. You can only take it as you will, as a crippling loss or a lesson to be learnt.

On the other hand, doing something momentous produces guaranteed results. I mean, once you’ve done something incredible , no one can change that. They can show their jealousy through criticism and slanted reviews but the act remains the same. The act is certain, it is a guarantee, and that guarantee not only boosts your feelings of self-worth but others’s feelings of admiration for you.

Now, using some commonsense, the guaranteed result will help you, the perceived loss will not. The guaranteed result is certain and unchangeable, the perceived loss is flawed and easily changed. The guaranteed result shows others you’re awesome, the perceived loss is only seen at its worst by you.

As Elvis is remembered for his great successes, the acts he accomplished, and not the perceived (and often overlooked) downfalls, we too can learn. We can learn that doing, or at least aiming, to do great things will take you much farther than any perceived loss. We can learn that most people only care about those who attempt at success, even if they don’t achieve it, rather than those who never try out of fear. But, most importantly, we can learn that when we have a dream and it is our choice to go for something momentous or ditch it out of perceived fear, we can go for the momentous act and attempt victory over our dreams.

Elvis’s Lessons:

The act of doing something momentous is the only guarantee; it will increase your feelings of self-worth and the respect others hold for you. The perceived threat of failure brings no guarantee; it can help you learn or destroy your soul. Ultimately, as Elvis showed, going for something monumentous is the only way to achieve a dream and, at the very least, attempt success − it’s the only way to live a fulfilling life where both you and others believe in yourself.

P.S. If you're interesting in seeing Elvis singing some momentous soul music, here he is with "Trying to Get to You" from the 1977 CBS TV special, Elvis in Concert.

P.P.S. Remember to leave a comment either below this post or email me at alexghilson@gmail.com to discuss any of my work. I'd love to hear from you!

He Who Does Not Sympathize, Loses...

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario where, per usual, we will be looking at the success lessons taught by the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll and see how we can use them to revitalize your life! Today, we will be talking about the benefits of sympathy when you give it and the anger it’ll bring you if you don’t.

If you’re a news bug, you may have read about the ongoing tuition riots taking place in Montreal, one of the biggest cities in my country of Canada. Since at least February, there’s been students protesting about the province’s idea to increase tuition 75% for Quebec (that’s a Canadian province, all you out of country-ers) students.

First off, I’m glad I don’t live near Montreal… it seems to have gotten pretty nasty. Secondly, I’m not going to support or condemn the riots… my opinion isn’t the point of this article (though, if you’d like to discuss it with me in the comments section below or by email at alexghilson@gmail.com, I’d be glad to).

What we are going to talk about is an event these riots spurred in a history class while I was present…

The teacher, one of those fellas (he’s a good chap) who likes tying past issues to present ones, asked the class what they thought about the riots. Some had heard, others hadn’t. He showed a news report discussing the event and one of the issues that came up (what condemners of the protest are using for fuel) is Quebec has one of the lowest tuition costs in Canada. In fact, my province (and the kids’s province) of Ontario presently has one of the highest tuition costs.

This was a Grade 12 class. In Canada, that’s your final year of high school, the one before university (if you’re heading there). So, the rise of Quebec’s tuition costs and the riots surrounding them didn’t make that class too understanding. It actually made some mad.

“Why are they complaining when we’ve got it so much worse!?”

“They just need to stop being lazy and get a job!!!”

“It’s just an excuse to wreck havoc… and it makes university students look bad!”

After the riot bashing, the teacher brought a question to the class−

“How would you like it if someone hiked your tuition and said those things to you?”

You can imagine the change of tune.

“But we’re different! We spend more already!”

“I’d get in even more debt.”

Now, as I said before, I’m not supporting or condemn anything. But what I am saying is a lot of people do condemn, often without thinking about the impact of their comments. Does that mean you should agree with the riots? Hell no. But every time you make a public opinion regarding a hot issue, like riots, rights or abortion, you have to expect you’re going to tick somebody off.

“But others condemn? Why shouldn’t I? I don’t care who I tick off!”

Well you should. You are your own advertiser, your best advertiser. Everything you say that’s good gets people wanting you and leading you to success, everything that’s bad will tick people off. And when you tick somebody off, they don’t want to be you customer.

Now, imagine that class had been a company producing university books. Imagine any one of the people in that class had been recorded, legally or not, publicly or not, making one of those condemning comments and those students in Quebec heard. That’s right − that company would be filing for bankruptcy before they could compose an apology.

Turning to our friend the king, Elvis was asked by a reporter in the pre-interview before his Madison Square Garden show in 1972, “You were in the Army and were drafted. What is your opinion of war protesters? And would you today refuse to be drafted?”

What did the king reply? − “Honey, I’d just soon to keep my own personal opinions about that to myself… Cause I’m just an entertainer and I’d rather not say.”

Whether it was because of his manager, Colonel Tom Parker, or simply his own discretion, Elvis took a really great opportunity to make a lot of people mad at him and shut it down. If he’d disagreed and condemned war protesters, he would have kept all his fans from the 50’s who were grown up and conservative at the time but he would have lost all his young fans. If he’d done the opposite, he would have lost his 50’s fan base (his customer base) and would have impressed the young kids.

It’s not that you shouldn’t have an opinion but you’ve got to watch it − the kids in that history class would have offended themselves if they’d later gone to a university with hiking tuition that they wanted to protest.

After all, as one of them said, “They just need to stop being lazy and get a job!!!”

Meanwhile, they’d have alienated everyone (customers included) who took the brunt of their harsh words. Remember: everyone’s a customer, and everyone’s a lead. You need to be comfortable with yourself and your opinions but if it’s not going to do any good spurting it out then don’t − you might save yourself a lot of grief.

Elvis’s Lessons:

It’s not wrong to have opinions and to feel strongly about certain things but you’ve got to watch what you say and, especially, who you condemn. Everyone’s a customer and everyone’s a lead and every time you take the bait to insult somebody, you may well be shooting your success in the foot. If you can hold onto it and scream it into a pillow, it might be an idea − that way you won’t be hurting somebody, and yourself, unintentionally. Remember the high school students: they were going to be university students possibly facing their own tuition hikes. If they stay true to what they said, they’d be insulting themselves and their own hope of change. If it hurt them, it would have hurt somebody else. The only thing to wonder is who would hurt the other more…

P.S. If you're interested in seeing Elvis talking at that pre-Madison Square Garden show press interview, here's a link to a Youtube video of him speaking.

P.P.S. Remember to leave a comment below this post or email me at alexghilson@gmail.com to discuss this post.

The July 4th Special (Or July 1st for Us Canadians…)

Helloo0O Ladies and Gentlemen!

Welcome back to Graceland Ontario where we’ll be discussing the principles that made Elvis Presley so successful and see how we can implement these into your life. Today we’re going to be talking about July 1^st, July 4^th and patriotism mixed with symbolism (trust me: all these big words will make sense shortly).

For Americans, July 4^th (and for Canadians, July 1^st) is one of their big holidays. In America, it’s Independence Day, the date where the U.S. as we know it today was born. July 1^st was Confederation/ Dominion Day when Canada took control of its own government from Great Britain. For both countries, it’s a day to remember.

And what happens every Fourth of July or First of July? Everyone relaxes, parties, has a good time (I was camping with friends in Northern Ontario near Sauble Beach this year) − and oftentimes they’re very patriotic about their country. They show symbols like the Star and Stripes (the Maple Leaf in Canada) and listen to ‘American’ (or ‘Canadian’) music. You know, those people who are synonymous with your country. Canada has a couple − Gordon Lightfoot, Stompin’ Tom being big but also Celine Dion, Shania Twain, these days, Justin Bieber − even Michael Buble! But the U.S… you guys have Elvis.

With the exception of perhaps Stompin’ Tom in Canada, nobody comes close to Elvis’s patriotism. He lived in a year round Fourth of July spirit (like John Wayne). Maybe you’re bigger on that stuff in the U.S. or something but WOW! did they have spirit.

Elvis was in his country’s army, he sang songs like “American Trilogy”, showcasing big American songs “Battle Hymn of the Republic”, "All My Trials" and “Dixie”. He even wrote a letter to President Richard Nixon to arrange to become a “Federal Agent-at-Large”! Now, we don’t know if he wrote simply to get the badge or if it was an attempt to help his country. But we do know how he was portrayed.

Elvis is America’s ambassador to the world, what one would think the perfect American to be − honest, humble, trustworthy, hard-working. And America realized this. Elvis was wearing an Eagle-emblazoned (the Eagle is a symbol of the U.S.) jumpsuit when he sang the first globally broadcasted concert − Elvis: Aloha from Hawaii! − in 1973. And on hearing about his death, President Jimmy Carter made a public announcement saying,

Elvis Presley's death deprives our country of a part of itself. He was unique and irreplaceable. More than 20 years ago, he burst upon the scene with an impact that was unprecedented and will probably never be equaled. His music and his personality, fusing the styles of white country and black rhythm and blues, permanently changed the face of American popular culture. His following was immense, and he was a symbol to people the world over of the vitality, rebelliousness, and good humor of his country.

I mean, what a national icon!

But how does this status affect his success?

By being linked to the U.S., as long as the U.S. is doing well, Elvis is doing well − in image at the least. He’s shown all over the place and played whenever the Fourth of July comes along. Like Bing Crosby with Christmas, he gains a new following every time there’s need to put on “American Trilogy” again. And because of his national identity, people who love their country because of military service or government service or whatever find a hero and friend in his music. Someone who represents them when 90% of modern music’s going on about how best to party and take drugs while enjoying life with a prostitute. Elvis believed in something big, something wonderful − his country. Sure, they’ve done wrong but his unshakeable believe gave him something to live for, a purpose. And so few people have that. It made him special.

So, what does this mean for you? Take pride in your country. But more so, show it to the world. People will dislike you for taking sides but, heck, they’d probably dislike you if you didn’t. When you take pride in your country, people link you to it and come to you when the Fourth of July (or First of July) comes along. They buy stuff from you because you’re the guy supporting the fun and partying instead of the other people who simply tolerate it for profit. It makes you authentic for believing in what you’re supporting, and people like authenticity. Meanwhile, you earn the respect of customers who know you live for something − your country − however bad the economy is, whatever problems occur in government. That’s not your country. Your country is where you live. And you stand by how awesome that is when others drift and don’t know what they want. Go figure why people’ll want to support you more than they would the drifters. Your belief makes you special and brave for taking a stand for your country, like it did Elvis, John Wayne or Stompin’ Tom, and you’ll be treated better for that.

Elvis’s Lessons:

Take pride in your country and the Fourth (or First) of July. Elvis got boosted big time to icon status because of his pride, leading to the Elvis: Aloha from Hawaii! concert − the first globally broadcast concert, a peak in his career and success. He took a stand for his country when others were drifters. When you take a stand, too, people respect you for believing in something and having a platform compared to others. You’re brave enough to support your country when others are too scared to. Meanwhile, people also go to you because you support your country and the partying in commemoration of it when others simply tolerate it for profit. They’ll sense your authenticity and belief and want to buy from you instead of the competition. It might take time but it will happen eventually. It did for Elvis and it can for you. Bet on it.

P.S. If you’re interested in seeing Elvis celebrating his country with “American Trilogy” at the Aloha from Hawaii! Rehearsal Concert, here’s a Youtube clip of him showing his country at its best.

P.P.S. Remember to leave a comment below or email me at alexghilson@gmail.com to continue the conversation. I'd be glad to hear what you have to say.